There are few things Jacob Black knows he will remember for the rest of his life. He will never forget the day he walked home in the rain, only to meet Billy on the porch with the words, “Your mother’s gone.” There was a ripping pain in his chest and even now, he sometimes feels a twinge when he remembers her.
He will never forget the first time he is told the stories of his ancestors, full of myth and intrigue. He listens closely, but brushes aside the fables, thinking nothing more of them. For Jacob, the words are camp stories, only to be told around a fire in order to scare the others. He doesn’t miss the disapproving look Billy sends him when he laughs it off, but at the time, he couldn’t care less.
He remembers the first time he ever looked beneath the hood of a car. He can practically still smell the oil grease and the way it slicked onto his fingers. It started a hobby, a lifelong dream, and Jacob knows it is part of who he is. When Quil and Embry come over, he tries to talk shop with them, but they shrug and ask where the food is. Jacob doesn’t mind; that’s just a part of who they are.
Bella Swan’s face is forever engraved in his mind. He remembers seeing her on the beach that one night and how his heart seemed to skip a beat. The walk they took together in the moonlight is one for the memories and though he now knows she merely wanted answers, he forgives her for her cunning flirtations because he was more than willing to return the affections.
Showing up to the Forks Prom is something Jacob wishes he couldn’t remember, but the memory is there, if only because of how beautiful Bella looked with her hair curled, her face shining with happiness. If he clenches his fist hard enough, he remembers the way he held her as they danced, swaying from side to side, and he forgets that the vampire wasn’t there, watching his every move.
But above all, Jacob will never forget the day Sam Uley walked back onto the reservation saying, “I found her; she’s safe now.” There had been questions and Jacob doesn’t think he’s ever seen Sam so angry when he speaks of what he’s found out. Pure hatred and anger fills Jacob up so quickly, he feels like his body will burst and all he can think about is how he can somehow make those vampires pay for breaking Bella apart.
Even on the reservation, Jacob hears the whispers and rumors of the town high school. He thinks of what is being said about Bella and her practically comatose state of depression as he walks up the pathway to Charlie Swan’s front door. The cruiser is nowhere in sight, so Jacob’s not worried that he’ll get caught, but it’s not like he’s doing something illegal anyway.
The sun is fading in the distant sky as he knocks on the door, knowing she won’t answer, but he can’t help but try. He strains to hear anything from inside, but there’s only silence. He leans down and places the flowers in front of the door, moving as slow as he can in case Bella decides to answer the knock. By the time he straightens up again, nothing has changed and he places his fingertips on the door. He wishes he has superpowers so he can heal her; make her realize that she doesn’t need him to survive.
Later, Jacob will remember the way he felt when he left those flowers, when he felt the door beneath his fingers. That precise moment was when he decided he would be the reason Bella Swan realized she didn’t need a cold-hearted vampire stuck in his teenage years to be happy.
Jacob Black will always remember that very moment when he realized he loved Bella Swan.
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